Ravaging Times

February 17, 2011

Ideal Lovers, Ravages edition

Filed under: Ravages of Time — Tags: — merc @ 2:03 pm

original post by editor Jun Zhu Dian, for “Chinese Valentine’s Day”
(this one’s funny! I’ll “translate” parts of that post)

[The Richboy Type] Sima Yi
Sima Yi is exemplary in this category. Not only is he a millionaire, he’s also a pretty boy. And what else is rare? …He’s very frugal.

[The Best-of-both-worlds Type] Zhao Yun, Lü Bu
Consider Lü Bu or Zhao Yun if you’re looking for a man with brain and brawn, because they’ll give you the greatest sense of security. There’s nothing to fear with them around, but on the other hand… doesn’t perfection and popularity make them the least safe bets?

[The One-Track Type] Zhang Lei, Zhang Liao
Zhang Liao and Zhang Lei may be the most monogamous lovers, because once they engage in a relationship, they’ll stay with you through thick and thin. Therefore they’re the best choice for this category.

[The Mysterious Type] Xiao Meng, Zhang Fei
You’re screwed if you have a lover like Zhang Fei or Xiao Meng. Perhaps even to this day you still don’t know their true appearance, or even… their gender.

[The Reserved Type] Ling Cao
This type of lover can hold a secret. He’ll never tell you his true identity even with his last breath.

[The Vigor Youth Type] Taishi Ci
Young and restless, the most impulsive type of lover. But the benefit is he’ll shoulder any burden.

[The Romantic Type] Sun Ce
Born of a reputable clan, he’s optimistic, multi-talented, and with a baby-face to boot. He may be the ideal choice for millions of young ladies.

[The Shining-Brilliance Type] Yuan Fang, Xun Yu, Zhou Yu
These three Geniuses all came from reputable clans with older generations having as high as minister positions. Therefore they may also be the Noble-Prince type lovers. By serving influential warlords Yuan Shao, Cao Cao and Sun Ce respectively, their talents are put to the test on a daily basis.
(“…daily manage ten-thousand crucial-point…”)

[The Dark-Art Type] Jix Xu, Guo Jia, Pang Tong
These three Geniuses all follow the Darkness/Utilitarian principle, thus their actions always exceed expectation. One makes it a hobby to sacrifice his master; one makes it a mission to kill en mass; and one even boasts of his own talent for usurpation. If the previous three are examples of “goodie-two-shoes”, then these three are the bad apples. But who knows, a lot of girls really dig bad boys.

– The Ideal Female Lovers

[The Considerate Type] Xiao Meng
If you regard Xiao Meng as a woman, then he is the most considerate out of the top three beauties. She’s the type who would do whatever it takes to save her sweetheart.

[The Headstrong Type] Sun Shu
Sun Shu is a classic example of the willful type lovers. She’s got that bossy attitude due to her status, and she’ll use force to deal with a lover who is unfaithful. Be careful, guys!

[The Clever Type] Zhang Chun Hua (Shan Wu Ling)
Zhang Chun Hua may be very cruel to her enemies, but if she regards you as a lover, she’ll follow you without complaints and help you overcome all obstacles.

* Note: The above “Ideal Lovers” of Ravages is really based on older standards. I mean nowadays who’d want to date a person whose job it is to kill people? If any of the aforementioned things are to happen today, they’ll all be murderers deserving of the death penalty. And how could you ever fall in love with a murderer? -^_^-


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