Ravaging Times

September 30, 2011

Fandom’s RoT Dictionary

Filed under: Ravages of Time — Tags: — merc @ 9:44 am

This is an old one. Recently resurrected by thread bumper. Original thread by reader thewilliman

【arrow】:
1) A weapon that’s always fired in groups of tens of thousands. Super useful against peons, absolutely useless against generals.
2) The specialty weapon against Chen Gong and corrupt officials. Ask Xun Yu for details.
3) A long range weapon that goes further if you shoot with your foot.

【handicapped warriors】:
The most successful rehabilitation program for handicapped people during the Three Kingdoms period.

【helmet】:
A decoration that will turn an everyman-face character into badass-warrior-face one, i.e. Xiahou Dun.

【short halberd】:
A very slippery weapon.

【The Clear Wind Triad】:
The best example of why a mob organization shouldn’t get involved with political struggles.

【all brawn but no brain】:
The highest praise a military adviser can give to a general of the opposing camp.

【horse armor】:
A type of heavy armor that boosts the defensive power of a big fat guy; but the only one ever seen appears to be worn on a man and not on a horse.

【what an honor】:
The thrill to injure the God of War (LB), or to kill a man in front of the leader of the Handicapped Warriors.

【tardiness】:
A rude behavior that will cause the emperor to slap you in public. Ask Dong Zhuo or Cao Cao for details.

【Hedong . Xiexian】:
The origin of the riding technique, The “Horseback-Crouching Sudden-Death Strike.”

【fist】:
A non-lethal weapon used to defeat generals who cannot yet die due to historical context. LB uses it often.

【sacrifice the master】:
A strategy more effective than fighting with everything you’ve got.

【life’s goal】:
Something to be found after the slaughter of many of one’s friends and family.

【Gao Shun】:
1) Nicknamed The Charger; the only hero of LB’s army.
2) The most famous bald guy in LB’s army, even though he’s not really bald, at least less so than Chen Gong.

【fifteen versus thirteen】:
The result of a competition that was counted in dead subordinates between Xiao Meng and Gan Ning.

【rivaling LB】:
A praise given by bystanders without the presence of LB. The praised warrior usually does not rival LB.

【archer】:
The killing move that is literally driving an arrow into the enemy. As such, it also expresses that Gan Xing Ba (Gan Ning)’s sense of humor is comparable to Xu Chu’s.

【absence】:
Makes the heart grow fonder. It’s a state of being that makes even falling-off-cliff-while-pierced-by-spears feel romantic.

【white eyes】:
The ultimate unbeatable warrior mode achieved after extreme fury; unapproachable.

【parachute】:
A prop invented by the Chinese, used for instant messaging.

【lightning rod】:
Another prop invented by the Chinese, used to fool ignorant soldiers during a thunderstorm while dressed up as the rain God.

【mid drift costume】:
Again invented by the Chinese. It turns thick armor into a prop to show off Imperial Uncle Liu’s 6-packs.

【salt】:
A seasoning that goes to your head if consumed too much. Side effects for its long term consumption include impairment of an old person’s judgment, leading to defeat and the loss of a city.

【fledgling phoenix】:
An advanced title awarded by the the School of Water Mirror for solving a puzzle wrong. With no sign of shame for still using the title, Pang Shi Yuan (Pang Tong) proves himself to have a face as thick-skinned as it is strange-looking.

【blood】:
… Generals tend to average 20 Liters of them per person.

【freckles】:
The proof to distinguish between real and fake Sun Ce.

【teaching】:
A stable career choice during the Three Kingdoms period; low risk, high pay, plus a chance to see/find God.

【wealth】:
1) Life’s, non-essential, to be, given up, if, the patient, makes a sound, during, treatment.
2) The proof that being a bodyguard will earn more money than a doctor in the Three Kingdoms period.

【bun】:
A commoner’s food, but it has the special power to restore stamina if consumed along with blood.

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3 Comments »

  1. 【mid drift costume】:
    Again invented by the Chinese. It turns thick armor into a prop to showoff Imperial Uncle Liu’s 6-packs.

    HAHAHA

    Like

    Comment by rtf — October 5, 2011 @ 1:37 am

  2. Mantou…. or buns… Didn’t Chen Mou introduced this things too early? what about the northern expedition? Did he meant for Seventh to not shine here as an iron chef?

    Like

    Comment by Por — October 7, 2011 @ 3:05 am

    • Well, CM meant a lot of things. Maybe “iron chef” isn’t so important to him. :P

      Like

      Comment by merc — October 7, 2011 @ 5:29 am


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