chapter 4

chapter 4 The Leader of the Handicapped Warriors

[?]: Sir Zhang Qing is here for the memorial service!

[Zhang Qing]: How could you set the mourning hall in the hull?
[?]: Uh… I really don’t know, sir.

[ZQ]: What the hell?

AHH~

[?]: Hahaha! Even the self-proclaimed man of guts got the scare of his life!
[ZQ]: How… how could this be?

[ZQ]: Feh! I was just…

[?]: Cheer up, kid.
(“…don’t hurt heart”)

[?]: More time on the battlefield will make this seem like nothing…

[?]: Those fated to die will die…

[Xu Lin]: Those fated to live

[XL]: will live.

[ZQ]: You got me good, Advisor Xu. So it was the body-double who was killed.
(“this time by Xu sir scared dead…”)
[Xu Jiang]: No wonder that guy stayed mute. Advisor Xu must have feared that the difference in accent might give him away!

[ZQ]: They say you’re the wisest in the world. Now I’m completely sold.
(“…impressed and prostrate myself”)

[Xu Lin]: Supporting the new Emperor and managing courtly affairs have turned Chancellor Dong Zhuo into a public enemy.
[XL]: I suffer the same fate as the Chief Controller of a powerful army.

[XL]: There are no less assassins after my life as opposed to Chancellor Dong’s.

[?]: You deduced correctly, Advisor.

[?]: The Handicapped Warriors must’ve been sent by the Sima clan of Henei.

[?]: By my research, Yanzhou’s top seven clans dared not refuse Chancellor Dong’s recruitment despite their own militia of thousands.
[?]: Yet the Sima clan dared to refuse despite having no guards of their own. They must have a killing move.

[XL]: That was reason enough for me to use a double.

[XL]: I survived this attempt!

[XL]: But this useless double

[XL]: cost me a dear subordinate.

[XL]: This is the battlefield. Only cowards grieve.
[Zhao Huo]: Yessir!

[ZH]: I’m not sad, because I know that if you were to truly die on my father’s ship,

[ZH]: the punishment for failing to protect you will result in the confiscation of our clan’s assets.

[XL]: Mm!

[ZH]: You survived, but father still failed to capture the Handicapped Warriors.

[ZH]: We’re fortunate that his death in the line of duty will actually save eighty lives!

Hahaha!

[XL]: Nicely said! You’re just like my friend Lü Bu,
[XL]: weighing the pros and cons perfectly! Hahaha!

[XL]: Except that Lü Bu had no mercy,
[XL]: not even for his father!

[?]: The rumor of Lü Bu killing his father for fame…
[?]: So it’s true!

[ZH]: However, I’m accountable for father’s death.

[XL]: Don’t blame yourself, my child. You did not cause his death.
[XL]: Instead, you made him a martyr.

[XL]: From now on,

[XL]: Zhao Huo

[XL]: shall be my foster son.

[XL]: So many are after your life, I’m afraid that…

[XL]: Haha! Afraid to lose another father?

[XL]: Who else has what it takes when even the Handicapped Warriors have failed!

[ZH]: If so,

[ZH]: please do not regret this, sir.

[XL]: That’s a funny response.

[?]: Congratulations for gaining a mighty son!

[?]: Congratulations!

[XL]: Ma Fang, what do you think of my foster son?

[XL]: Ma Fang!

[Ma Fang]: Advisor, is it true that the One-Eye leader of the Handicapped Warrior hasn’t appeared yet?

[XL]: You’re overthinking this, Ma Fang…
[XL]: Who else but you lot knows that I’m still alive?
(simplified)

[MF]: But they’re still here!

[?]: What? Did they found out?
[?]: So their perfect killing record is not just a rumor?

{sfx: hoo~}

[?]: Look! That’s the One-Eye leader!
[?]: Advisor Xu is already dead! What’s he still doing here?
[?]: Unless he wants to kill us all?

[?]: Let us through to report this!
[?]: By Sir Ma’s orders, no one is to go in during the mourning period!

[?]: Will you disobey the order?

[XL]: Who is that leader?

[ZH]: I know him.

[ZH]: He once came to our clan.

[?]: What!
[XJ]: Does that mean your father Zhao Xian dealt with him before?

[XL]: Why was he there?

[XL]: Did he want to use your father to get closer to me?
[ZH]: Yes!

[?]: That boy is smart. It’s difficult to get past Advisor Xu’s entourage of hundreds!
[?]: He figured that the limited capacity of a ship
(“…few tens of people”)
[?]: will make his job easier. He’s no easy foe.

[XL]: How could your father agree…
[XL]: Zhao Xian is not like that at all.

[ZH]: Of course father didn’t know he was an assassin…

[ZH]: But he liked the man.

[XL]: So what!

[ZH]: Zhao Xian kept having daughters
[ZH]: and not sons.

[ZH]: So he adopted the man as his foster son.

[XJ]: Zhao Xian has no son? Then… you…
[ZH]: I knew Zhao Xian would hide the truth out of fear of ridicule.

[ZH]: With the amount of wives you have… would you know how many sons you have?

[XJ]: So he lied about you being his long-lost son!

[?]: Who the hell are you, boy?

{sfx: shoom~}

[?]: Look! That guy’s on fire!
[?]: What’s going on?

[?]: Weird!

[ZH]: That’s their signal to pick me up.

[XL]: Capturing the attention of the fools on deck.

[ZH]: Yes. Now I’ll focus on all of you.

[Guo Ang]: It’s almost time.

[GA]: I’ll pull him up once he succeeds.

[GA]: You ready, sister Meng?
[Meng]: Ready.

[M]: Guo Ang, look at this.

{sfx: foo~}

[M]: Call me sister Meng again
{sfx: ka~}
[M]: and you’re dead.
(“take your dog life”)

[XL]: You’re not blind in one eye.

[ZH]: And my hearing’s great too.
(shortened)

[ZH]: That double cried for help.

[?]: No way. Could he have heard that?
[?]: Bullshit!

[ZH]: He had a southern accent, not that of Xiliang. I heard it all.

[ZH]: So Guo Ang and I put on a show

{sfx: shoom~}
[ZH]: in order to lure you out.

[ZH]: Surefire. That’s the rule of the Handicapped Warriors.
(wordplay mine)
{sfx: shoom~}

[XL]: Enough! Your name!

[ZH]: Huo!
(“fire”)

[ZH]: Liaoyuan Huo, leader of the Handicapped Warriors!

{sfx: zing~}
[Liaoyuan Huo]: Is your face burning yet?
(“you, lot ashamed into rage”)

[XL]: Calm in a crisis. You’re something all right.

[XL]: I really like you.
[XL]: Too bad…

[LYH]: Too bad I insist on suicide.

[XL]: Yes. What a pity!

[LYH]: My fathers all have pitiful deaths.

[?]: Too late for pity now, boy.

{sfx: hoo~}

{sfx: zing~}

[?]: You know something, boy?

[LYH]: What?

[?]: There are not many who could survive our swords!
[?]: Not even Lü Bu might live through this, could you?

[LYH]: I’ve never met Lü Bu before, but my philosophy is…

[LYH]: fighting a dozen…

[LYH]: must be easier than fighting a hundred!

{gasp~}

Everyone knows that I lead countless fearsome warriors. It’s difficult to kill me without the talent of an one-man-army. However, this leader of the Handicapped Warriors have surprised me time and again…
(“…strategy, instead all been out of my prediction”)

If this boy is not mad…

[M]: Go!

{sfx: shoo~}
He might just be…

{sfx: pa~}

[?]: Rope arrow?

[LYH]: Xu Lin! Time to die!
(“…hand-over life”)

a monster that rivals Lü Bu!
HOH~

{sfx: pa}

[?]: A moth dives into flame…

{sfx: shoom~}
[Dong Zhuo]: and makes the fire burn brighter!
(“fire, more burn more thriving”)

Three days later, Dong Zhuo received something that piqued his interest.
He found it interesting because…

it could invigorate a monster more than any military text or weapon could.

A monster who had lost interest in war;

a monster who could single-handedly help him conquer the world without any regard for life or propriety.

{sfx: ka}

[?]: Brother Xu Lin…

[Lü Bu]: I swear to avenge your death!

The monster has finally been awakened!

But the monster bided time for vengeance. He wanted the enemy to fear him, and that required him to do something shocking.

The Guandong Alliance marched on Luoyang in the same year. The monster killed sixty enemy generals by himself, and then stopped the army of a hundred thousand strong with a force of less than a hundred!

This battle established the supreme martial reputation of a monster of a warrior in China’s history. A warrior above all warriors! Lü Bu!

Xu Lin’s death ended the rations raid in the Yanzhou region. But that void was soon filled by another predator. When the Guandong Alliance occupied Henei, they confiscated everything from the wealthy clans who supported Dong Zhuo.

With such a massive increase in military funding, the Guandong Alliance advanced ever closer on the Luoyang capital. However, the war efforts have been mired down by Lü Bu’s fierce resistance and the distrust between the warlords.

Until three weirdos showed up…

[?]: Big brother! Did you volunteer to lead the way again?

[?]: Pipe down! We’re here!

{sign reads: Jingyang city}
[?]: Look closer! This is Jingyang, not Luoyang!

[?]: Oops. My directionlessness struck again.
(“bad, lost way old ailment recurred”)
[?]: I blame you two for dozing off.