Funny Fandom

(ordered by time of my discovery, not by actual comment date)

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郭嘉不是去养病，而是去美容了，丫的出场一次比一次漂亮！
Guo Jia didn’t take medical leave; he went to get a facial. Damn he’s getting prettier each time he reappears!

— unknown reader, sometimes before 2011, Nov. 27

二奇荀彧
当年对他的感慨：托福又认识个生僻字，哈哈哈
Second Genius Xun Yu
When I first read about him: for his sake I learned a new rare hanzi (in his name). Hahaha

— 天之响, 2011, Nov. 27

太尉的变化不大，一直保持着南海明珠一帅叔的水准
[Over the years] the Grand Commandant [Jia Xu] didn’t change much [in appearance] – kept to that Pearl Daddy standard
(“…southern sea pearl one handsome uncle…”)
— 天之响, 2011, Nov. 27

郭小四堪比茱莉亚萝卜丝的大嘴越来越小，结果就越来越帅了
Guo the forth had that Julia Roberts’ mouth. He grew handsomer as it shrunk in size.

— 战导TMD, 2011, Nov. 28

“I think Xiahou Dun might be gay…”
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Comment below to suggest more. Funny/satirical (but not nasty/mean) ones please! :D
(If it’s not in Chinese or English, please translate for us, thanks!)